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December 5, 2012
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Just cry.
     
       Don't let your fear get the best of you.

Cry.
     
    I know it hurts, and you don't have to,


But hear me out,

     Ive been through this, same as you
 And while i don't know how you feel,
I will be there to help you

So i beg you now.
  Don't hide the pain you feel.
           Don't seal these emotions inside
   Tears aren't a sign of weakness,
 These kinds of thoughts will only harm you

I know you wish they could be here.
I know you want them next to you.


Its harder than you imagined,
    losing someone you love
so don't hold the tears inside of you
but let them show your love.
laugh and dance,
                sing and cry.
Grieve until your heart,
          feels all empty and dry

When it is all over,
      And you stare down at that grave
Let their memory wash over you
soak the ground with your praise

And remember,
       when you come back and continue on each day,
I will be there for you.
As a leaning shoulder,
     And an understanding friend.
Okay, I really need critique on this ASAP.
i wrote it for my friend whose grandmother just died.
My grandmother died about 2 years ago and it was a really hard time for me and my family , and what got me the most was that after that first week, everyone seemed to have forgotten... anyway, before i go off on a rant, this is for her, and it sorta started morphing into advice to myself if i could send a letter back to then.

anyway, i am really bad at bringing stuff like these things up and i also need opinions. because i don't want to have like an awkward moment either.

yes, i know everybody grieves differently, but like i said, this is for my friend, and my self. a way to let emotions out and give advice.


thanks for reading :)
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:iconkuraitenshiv:
KuraiTenshiV Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist
I like this alot, I lost my grandmother near 2 years now. It hits home really hard. It is good advice, and better than " time will help heal"
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:iconmomo587:
Momo587 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"Grieve until your heart,
feels all empty and dry"
if only it is as simple as that ..

I enjoyed reading this poem because I could relate to it on many levels, It is well written but it is not poetic .. in other words it does not have a poetic sound to it, it's merely simple words said as if in a normal conversation .. personally, I always feel like poetry should be beautiful in words no matter what you are writing about or trying to express.. but regardless of my own opinion, I did like this poem and the message that it carries was certainly received .. I think its simplicity and pure warmth had a great deal to do with that ..
Some of your lines in the poem are very beautiful .. the poem itself, sounds more like lyrics to a song more than a poem .. and I gotta say, if it was meant as lyrics, it would make a great song.


I'm sorry if I was harsh in any way possible .. but I hope my comment helps you for your future writings ..
Good job and I'm sorry for your and your friend's loss ...
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:icondusk-rose:
dusk-rose Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Originally, i did have a tune in my head while i wrote it, but then realized how weird that would be to sing it to her... so i changed my mind

and thank you :)
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:iconmomo587:
Momo587 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure sweetness (^^)
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